Be Happy

 I was recently asked why I thought a friend was so unhappy all the time--despite good things happening in her life--why couldn't she celebrate the wins?

 She has had career success, relationship success, she is bright, accomplished and funny; but she is also constantly negative, gloomy and complaining. She is rarely happy.

As I thought about it, I realized she misses the 3 things I talk about that underlie happiness.

She can't rest in gratitude--there is always a dark side for her or another shoe that might drop.

She can't trust the connection to others --they are marked by competitiveness, wariness and fear that people do not really like her.

She can't seem to find meaning in her life--despite searching desperately for it and not seeing all the places she could find it.

It makes me sad.

The discussion reinforced for me that happiness is a choice--or maybe a set of choices and a skill.  It is not about circumstances—we all know people who have challenges and yet are happy. It is not about genetics—research tells us this part of our DNA can be changed and in any case is not the key component of happiness.  

It is all about our personal actions and intentions, so

• Be grateful—for everything big and small, momentous and ordinary, fleeting and lasting, sad and happy!
• Connect to others every chance you get! Smile, say hello, have a conversation, hug someone!
• See the meaning in your life—in a breath, a relationship, work, family, friends, in something bigger than yourself!

The opportunity to be happy is there in every moment.